Considering the latest resurgence of dead celebrities, I'm thinking that we need a National Dead Celebrity Day. First, former Tonight Show side-kick to Johnny Carson (also a dead celebrity) Ed McMahon died. Then, in a single day last week, Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett joined the ranks of the dead celebrities. Then today, the man who shouted the praises of crappy products, Mr. Billie Mays himself, also became a dead celebrity. What's going on?
Death is the number one killer of celebrities. But I suppose that if celebrities didn't die, everyone would want to be one. Not that everyone doesn't anyway, but the competition to be a celebrity would be even greater if celebrities got to live forever.
I can't help but wonder, though... if celebrities didn't die, would they stay perpetually young or would they get really, really, really majorly gross and ugly? I guess either one has it's advantages and disadvantages. One advantage to celebrities getting ugly would be that no make-up would be required for the movies that have gross, hideous creatures in them. And the disadvantage would be... I mean, ew, yuck...
Of course a big advantage for celebrities staying eternally young would be that there would be no more need for plastic surgery, right? Although I'm sure many of them would do it anyway. But it would be a big disadvantage for the plastic surgeons who would lose an awful lot of business.
So I propose we put it to a vote, and then when America has decided, we petition for one of three things (depending on what America decides):
1. Institute a National Dead Celebrities Day, complete with the day off with pay.
2. Utilize futuristic Star Trek technology to cause celebrities to live forever, but don't keep them from getting all nasty and gross.
3. Utilize aforementioned technology to cause celbrities to live forever and to stay eternally young.
You decide, America. I welcome feedback.
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