One Pill Fits All

Imagine you're on a fishing boat fishing with a friend, an enemy, your doctor or lawyer... doesn't matter. Anyone you know who fishes. Or doesn't fish - that doesn't matter either since it's an imaginary scenario. Yes, that's right; once again I am wielding the uncanny power of imagination to make a point. Now shut up and close your eyes and start imagining. On second thought, better keep your eyes open. You may need them to read the rest of this post. So you'll have to imagine with your eyes open, if you can handle that...

OK, so you're fishing with the Prime Minister of Balukabuhaha, and between the two of you, you are catching quite a few fish. Don't worry about gaming laws and limitations, this is the Prime Minister you're fishing with. Besides, it's only imaginary. Shut up.

So you finish your fishing and get back to the dock. Your fishing partner, who is now a centerfold model reaches into the tub 'o fish that you have caught, grabs the most puny and pathetic of them and declares: "Here is THE fish, right here!"

What makes this puny and pathetic fish THE fish? If you were going to select a fish from out of the tub 'o fish to be representative of all of the fish, shouldn't it be a bigger, fatter fish? I use that realistic illustration followed by that rhetorical question to make a point. And that point is yet another question. Why is what we commonly refer to as "the pill" the pill? What does "the pill" do? It keeps you from reproducing. But beyond that, what does it do?

There should be a pill that handles everything. Absolutely everything. And THAT pill is the pill that should be "THE pill".

Got a headache? There's a pill for that.

Got an ulcer? There's a pill for that.

Got milk? There's a pill for that.

Drug addict? There's a pill for that too.

The new pill that should rightfully be referred to as "the pill" should also be a pill that turns hardened criminals into happy, unselfish contributors to society. Or maybe there should be some kind of raygun that you could shoot people with that will turn them into nice people. Think of the results there could be. We could empty out the prisons and use them for Farmer's Markets and Home and Garden shows and such.

I remember watching Star Trek when I was a kid, and Captain Kirk would say, "Set your phasers to stun" and I used to think that with the kind of technology that they have off in the Star Trek future, you would think that they could set their phasers to "nice" and simply turn the bad guys into good guys.

Also, if they could set their phasers to stun, why did they ever kill anyone? They could just stun the bad guys, and then fit them with a stun collar... kind of like the shock collars that people put on their dogs. Every time a bad guy decides to be bad - STUN! He might still be a bad guy, but he would never get around to carrying out his evil plots because he would be stunned all of the time. If you remember, there was an episode where Kirk and members of his crew had to wear shock collars. How come Star Fleet never took advantage of this technology?

Also, how come Captain Kirk never tried to stink anyone out? It works for skunks... why not? "Set your phasers to fart" he would say, and then of course they would put on their little futuristic gas masks and RRRRRIIIIIPPPPP!!!! The bad guys come out gagging and coughing and falling on the floor. I think that some of those throw-away crew members that got killed off could have gone on to have long and happy careers with Star Fleet if Kirk had just used more of what was available in his arsenal.

So Kirk wasn't always the brightest star in the trek. That's OK... there's a pill for that.

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